Forks vs Spoons
by Andrew Roach
Summary: Spoons have had the short end of the stick FOREVER due to the forks. It's about time someone took a stand for their rights. The strangest war between silverwares will bring the true meaning of "eating utensils" to a whole new level.


Forks vs. Spoons

**For centuries, forks and spoons have had a heated rivalry. Spoons have been treated unfairly as long as anyone could remember. When a spoon would apply for an eating job, it was the forks that were always hired above them. If a spoon was tired and dirty after a long day, it was the forks that were always cleaned up first. Now FINALLY, the spoons decided to fight back. This was discrimination, and the lower-class silverware were not going to put up with it any further. One particularly brave spoon decided to step up to the plate and lead the way. Gary was his name. "General" Gary walked to the podium that stood stiff and sturdy-like on the stage. Rows of spoons in uniform sat in small metal chairs. They looked stern and were organized in a perfect line. They were armed with battle helmets, armor, and many other features to assist them in battle. Gary on the other hand, was cleaned up in a tidy suit. He had a scar across his right eye and he looked uncomfortable in his tight attire. "Attention!" called Gary into the microphone that was pressed to his mouth. The spoons sat up straight and focused their attention on their leader.**

A screen popped up behind the general and a diagram was displayed. In the top left corner as a clock, which represented what time it would be in the plan he was about to expose to his troops. It wasn't hard for him to immediately cut to the chase, he obviously had planned this presentation out. "The blue squares represent us. The red squares represent the forks." He began, looking like he had no tolerance or patience to spare. No one had noticed, but a sophisticated looking salt shaker stood in the corner of the stage. She looked down at the floor and listened intently. "Starting at five p.m., we will have time progress to seven p.m." he started, this all happening on the screen as he said it. "The forks will have their gathering this week before they go off for Christmas." he stated. "And for a holiday treat, I don't think we wanna be at our same status, UNDER the forks." he added. He waited for a response, but his audience didn't receive the message. "NOW DO WE?" called Gary over the crowd. Humorously enough, instead of the expected "Yessir.", they all shouted "I DON'T THINK SO!" in a strong tone. "That's what I thought…" He said with a proud and conceited smirk.

"As you may have noticed, we have made an alliance with Ms. Salt, who stand to my left. Please welcome her with a round of applause." introduced Gary, Salt trotted to the front of the stage and faced the general while the sound of thunderous clapping sounded and echoed throughout the room. "I know that my brother Pepper has taken the enemy side, so I may serve as a spy, sir." Salt informed to the leader. "I assume that your partnership with the spoons is unknown to the forks?" Gary asked. "Positive." confirmed Salt. "Excellent." praised the general. Salt then returned to her previous spot on the stage.

An hour passed and the spoons had covered all of the strategies needed to benefit their motives. The drafted soldiers got to know each other, which made it easier for them to grow familiar with the techniques. The soldiers improved their grappling, accuracy, etcetera and it seemed like just a minute before the light had switched off and the legendary creature, the "Ahmun" (human shifted around) had pulled the light switch in the kitchen.

The big day had arrived and at five p.m., the spoon soldiers all met at five p.m., the spoon soldiers all met at the dish rack. Across the counter was the forks having their celebration. The forks were banging their heads on the counter and packaged foods to create their own versions of festive tunes and carols. Two guards glared across at the spoons, trying to look intense and intimidating. "Let's do this." said Gary. Fearlessly, the spoon army, led by Salt and Gary, marched across the counter to the party. Gary walked to confront the guards, but they knocked him flat when he opened his mouth. "NO SPOONS!" hissed the other guard. Then, the war began.

The hostility only fired them up and it was then that the spoons charged, pummeling the guards. Unexpectedly, the forks had a military of their own. The two groups faced each other, tempers blazing. Gary took a deep breath and then screamed; "CHARGE!". Both sides dashed towards each other, though they abruptly slammed into an invisible barrier. They piled into the wall like a domino effect. The multiple silverware items were temporarily dazed, but shrugged it off and switched their mindset to "What the heck just happened?"

The sound of creaking wood was faintly heard, but what made them all look up was the sudden appearance of a spotlight. The weirdest creature they had ever seen came gracefully sinking from above. Salt whispered to one of the soldiers who was giggling, "Hush! He was a spoon in an accident!" she scolded, trying to be quiet and respectful. "Guys, Guys, there is no need to live off of controversy! Where there is love, there is hatred. Where there is doubt, there is hope. Where your alone, there is someone." said the creature in a poetic way. The crowd went silent. Then a fork in the back called; "What the heck ARE you?". The creature frowned. "I…am a spork" He answered dramatically.

The fluttering spork with wings switched his expression back to his "out there" face. "Life is too short to be fighting. Just get along!" he said. More awkward silence occurred and then suddenly, the spork exploded, sending orange dust everywhere. The dust lingered around and when it was breathed in, the silverware collapsed.

It took many years, that cannot be changed, but finally, the spoons had received what they had wanted to begin with. Equality.


End file.
